Many of my readers will correctly attribute this remark to the deceased "Queen of Mean," Leona Helmsley. In Jacksonville, Florida, a backwater burg with aspirations to nothing, there is a dermatology practice whose business model may mirror Ms. Helmsley's famous statement by adopting the policy, "only the poor people pay for their services in advance" because they can't be trusted to pay when services are rendered. Further the model includes taking an insured patient's money in advance as a "deposit," and floating the patient's money until the day of the appointment.
Let's examine this mean spirited, greedy practice. I was a patient at the Riverside Office (Riverside is the "quaint" area of Jacksonville. Quaint would include Publix, Starbucks, the Flip Flop Shop and other stores that may be found on Fifth Avenue (New York, not Jacksonville Beach). At the corner of Osceola and Oak, by the way, there is a law firm which can't even afford to pay their trash bills. For my first appointment the doctor was 1 hour late. I decided that the late appointment could have been an anomaly, because the medical practitioner was highly recommended. She was was good. I met her when I was storming out of the examination room because I needed to get to work at the law firm that can't afford to pay for garbage removal. She treated me quickly and I got out of the office. The bill was $65.
About three weeks ago, it was necessary to make another visit. When I made the appointment over the telephone, I was informed that because I was "self-pay" (medical lingo for dishonest, not-to-be-trusted piece of shit), I would have to pay a "deposit" of $100.00 at the point the appointment was made (now). I was astounded. Not only would the practice hold my money until the day of the appointment, but if I had a refund, I would have to wait for the gum-chewing, vacant eyed clerks to refund my money on the proper "bill cycle," which could be a month later or longer, when they located my social security number which was under a 50,000-calorie Starbucks drink--we're sorry, the "wip" stained the papers. Is this a bank or a medical office? Is your "deposit" used for Starbucks dome-top drinks?
Naturally I told them they lost a patient and left messages on the billing and the nurses' lines. I have also informed the nursing staff at Signature Health Care, Walgreens, and my doctor's office at Baptist Primary Care about the way they treat unemployed, uninsured patients. Signature and others have never heard of such a greedy business practice.
The ignorant, greedy staff at North Florida Dermatology is undoubtedly unfamiliar with a statement falsely attributed to the Hippocratic Oath (of course, that is a wrong attribution) but, let's observe that that instead of being concerned primarily about insurance rather than healing, Hippocrates writes in Epidemics, "the physician must be able to tell the antecedents, know the present, and foretell the future - must mediate these things, and have two special objects in view with regard to disease, namely, to do good or to do no harm." Can someone find his writing on treating poor people in an obscene, greedy manner?
Next, the law firm that can't pay its trash and maintenance fees.
